The Panic Mechanic 

Personal

Hi…I’m Roxanne and I am a stresspot.
Anxiety is a well known friend of mine and it’s a friendship I could probably do without. But then I think…what would I be…who would I be without it?

This may sound a little mellow dramatic but hear me out a second. Who would I be if I didnt lie awake at night making lists in my head, so scared I may forget something. Or sit in class and mull over each and EVERY project I have lined up and each and EVERY part of EVERY module I have that I am battling with. Then there are the days when your mom is not replying to your messages or sends one-worded responses or when you feel so sick in your stomach because you haven’t been to gym the past week and you feel like your skin is bulging over your tights and your arms feel like they flap when you wave or my absolute worst…when your pants get caught under your bum when you’re pulling them up (come on ladies, we all know this far too well).

Little things. But as every anxious or anxiety-prone person would know…these are the things that can very quickly define us.

Anxiety-is-my-friend

I guess you could say a bit of my anxiety flares from areas I can’t even pinpoint. You know, when you feeling a little stressed out and something is eating away at the back of your mind and you feel a constant clench in your stomach but you have NO IDEA what it is. This is something my friend Amy calls “feeling App” (App being short for apprehensive – duh). App is real. It is so so so real. It tends to flare when you’re having a fight with your boyfriend and you’re stuck with nitty-gritty whatsapp messages, or you’re worried about wether you will have enough allowance left to buy food or that ticket to We Love Summer or the lunch you planning on having with the crew. Another horrible trigger for this evil little “bug” is when you think someone is unhappy with you…or you think you have offended someone or said the wrong thing – this is something that can cause some serious stomach clenching for me. Then there are the basics : tests, exams (don’t we all know it), family feuds, traffic, time management, social anxiety etc.

Right now, at this point of my life, I am facing constant waves of App. It involves the fact that I have not been to gym in 2 weeks even though my gym is literally a minutes walking distance – this of course making anything I try on an absolute disaster because as us ridiculous female species do…we think we have picked up a ton. This unfortunately controls a lot of how I feel and how my stress levels are managed (a blog post on this topic soon to follow). I do not exactly eat (App tends to do this to you too). The work load we are getting this year for my degree which involves learning a new language, making items such as awareness dolls, activity MATS, beanbags, skipping ropes, balancing apparatus, makeshift bats and balls etc…and FIVE story books which have to be DRAWN and coloured on A3 card, each being about 15pages long (did I mention I cannot draw to save my life? And how LONG this is going to take). On top of this, I am looking for a job to earn a little extra and keep myself busy so I don’t have time to over think things or go mad.

 

Now…how do we get trough this App and anxiety and stress and these sleepless evenings?We pray.

Every morning. Every evening. You pray.

Pray for strength to carry your cross everyday. Pray for wisdom to make the right decisions. Pray for courage to face what lies ahead of you. Pray for patience to wait for what is right for you and what God has so carefully planned JUST for you.

Pray. For yourself and those loved ones of yours who also wake up every morning having no idea where to even start.

He will hear you and He will LISTEN (in my degree have learned about the big difference between the two)!

God Bless,

Keep up the good work. Don’t look at how far you have to go, look at how far you have come.

Roxanne

 

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Living in The Mother City

Personal, Travel

2015 has most definitly been one of my better years.

Falling in love with someone that makes me feel a new sense of thrill in life, making friends I don’t think I will ever forget, studying something I absolutely love and enjoy, going on adventures I think about everyday and of course…living in one of my favourite cities.

 

Cape Town is one of the most sought after cities in the world with it’s lush greenery, the magnificent mountain ranges, constant flow of “things to do” and its well known reputation for being one of the ‘vibeiest’, cosmopolitan spots around. It has clean water (clean enough to drink) and well maintained roads. Though this city indeed does have all these much wanted characteristics. It has its weaknesses too.

Constant traffic, lack of parking then paying criminal prices for the parking you MIGHT find, the cliques among the people that live there which are hard to avoid, the constant feeling as though you need to dress or look a certain way and just the general expense of living in such a profound city.

Just little things. Those little things that can put you in a small period of rage or make you feel irritable or even sad.

No. These things do not make me dislike this beautiful city. I’m not sure anything could ever quite do that. But little things I think this world could do without.

All in all though…it boils down to what you allow in your day to day schedule. The people you surround yourself with. The places you choose to go to. It can, in the end, all be avoided too. That’s what’s great about the city…it is your oyster…you have options, copious amounts.

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I love living here. I don’t like being away for too long. If there is one thing I can say about The Mother City, is that God sure spent a heck of alot of time in creating it. The mountains, the ocean, the beutiful vegetation, the stunning beaches…it all boasts about its Creator. Everywhere. All round you. All the time.

Last year, 2015, Cape Town was good to me. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me there this year.

God Bless!


 

A Look Back

Personal

Hi,
So…Im Roxanne, and Im going to give you “a look back” on my life so far – just so you get a feel for where I come from and where I plan on heading.

I was born on 3 Dec 1993, in Humansdorp, Eastern Cape, SA. My family immediately moved to Johannesburg where we lived for around 5 years. After my dad got tired of the city, we moved to St. Francis Bay back in the Eastern Cape, where we stayed for a year then moved 20mins away, to Jeffreys Bay. After being in ‘JBay’ for around 6 years – where the Billabong Pro reigned every year, the Decembers always brimming with foreigners and the fishing was great – we headed back to St. Francis Bay where I have now been for almost 8years.

I was blessed to be raised in a family where I was loved and appreciated just as I am. I was taught ways that are different to the world and learned that the Bible is the most important piece of guidance. My dad is my hero and the only person on earth I trust with my life. My mom, she is my best friend and the most submissive and loving wife I have yet witnessed. I have 3 siblings – 2 younger sisters (Danielle,16 and CaraLee,12) and a baby brother (Stephen, 7).
A beautiful family is what I have and I am more and more grateful every single day.

As for my life at this moment – after school I did many different things including working for my dad, photography courses, makeup artistry courses, working at a salon, traveling and now…I am on a blessed holiday before I head to Cape Town next year to study Teaching at Varsity College. Makeup Artistry is a passion of mine, but my love and adoration for children is greater than any other….so I hope to be able to teach and share in the innocent, beautiful lives of my future students.

My love life is one for another time…but for now…this is where I was, where I am at…and hopefully where I am going 🌸

God Bless
Roxanne Lee

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